After reading blogs referring to “female counterparts” we decided to make some points very clear. Let us start with this whole gf-bf business. Many of the boys have a girlfriend and those who do not have one, roam about pretending that they don’t need them, as they waste time, money etc etc. But it is a fact that every boy is in search of his dream girl and are ready to try their luck on every beautiful girl who passes by. Correct?..... If you do not agree, then let us know, why most of their conversation revolves around girls, a fact which is conspicuous from what they write. We never ever thought that we’ll have to write on this topic, but we had to….to answer certain questions…
If a girl even talks properly with a guy, he will start thinking that she likes him and will tell his friends that she is interested in him (“line maar rai hai”) and if not he then his friends will definitely link him to her.
We wonder, is this the general mentality in India or just the case here that, if people see a girl and a boy together they will definitely consider that they are bf-gf as if no other relationship exists between the two genders. Some guys do not even respect the very pious relationship of brother and sister.
Humour for them always involves girls. We cant understand why don’t they find some other topic, even we can do the same but we never…
We just want to ask you
• Why do you only think about the gender to which the person belongs?
• Why cant you consider him/her as a human being as u r?
• Why are there two groups, boys vs girls?
• Why dont we work together for betterment of our college and our nation?
And the why continues……………
We are often told to ignore guys, when they pass dirty comments or scribble obscene stuff on the desks or something similar but How can we?
We are NOT concerned with what guys do within themselves but we condemn it when it is thrown at our face…We have some dignity, please respect it……. and you should.
It really hurts when u find people saying something which u never expected .Imagine how it feels when a person whom u considered a friend is also one of the lot.
We are not here for some “NAARI MUKTI MISSION” or “a war between girls and boys”, we just want to remind them of their relationship with their mother, sister, girlfriend or friend and just want to make an appeal that they should respect these relationships.
26 comments:
u r right abt the fretful behaviour of guys for girls.....why can't they stay neutral....why do they always b at the extreams??
for teh better they shud change the mentality....i appreciate ur guts n effort...
thank u sir,
vaise bhi nybody can't b absolutely correct or it wud b better to say that everybody's attitude 2wards a paricular topic can't b same.
we just want to say that try to give atleast "A LITTLE" respect to their relationships with fairer sex.....
@ ankit ......we r not saying dat guys shudn't talk abt grls or turn their face away wen they see them....attraction between the 2 sexes is quite natural and there's nothing wrong in it as long as one does not begin 2 harass the other person .
pls remember dat b4 being a man or a woman a person is a human being and deserves respect as such. and as far as not being able 2 change ur mentality ...well it is possible even after 100 years of life....leave alone 20 or 21....its just a matter of trying.
@ ankit sir
a movie,a clipping,a speech,a single sentence or even a single word can change anyones thinking,his personality,his mentality.......coz thinking is not bounded by age,place,gender or anything else.....
we can't impose our views on anyone,what we can do is atleast is give it a try....
actually some people are not able to understand some references in the blog because, though not completely, but a part of this blog is a reply to certain blogs which we dont want to disclose...
sensible viewpoint. At a larger level, you are talking of women being typecast as sexual objects. Misogyny, i.e. hatred of women has a long history, beginning from the early greeks(several B.C.s ago)to present day times. Previously it found expression in literature. Now you will find it in the negative images of women that the media propagates. Also the images of women that the fashion world holds up in the name of high fashion.
i think that the attitude of a boy towards are much influenced by the education he has had, the environment he grew up in and the circle of friends he keeps. a boy who has had no interaction with a girl, and who is taught that talking to a girl is a taboo can't be expected to behave as a gallant gentleman when it comes to opposite sex. and more often than not, it is his parents and the society that are to be blamed. you know the reason why.
personally i believe that a platonic relationship between a girl and a boy is not only possible but a necessity. I feel that ladies can make better friends. My best friends belong to the opposite sex, we don’t feel uncomfortable discussing anything under the sun. Though I disagree with the point that all we think about is beautiful girls whom we could have sex with. Or that all of us are waiting for our dream girls. A few of us genuinely think girlfriends a nuisance. Lets not talk about the person who reckons so. Let him be called a Casanova and let him be content with it. But I daresay the majority is not that. You have to consider the fact that in ISM the sex ratio is lopsided. A girl can obviously not talk with every boy, and so if she does talk with one, for she must, then the others feel neglected and pretend that it doesn’t affect them. But it does affect their male ego. You can’t avoid it. Go to a college where the sex ratio is balanced, and you’ll find healthy relationships between members of opposite sex. However, all said and done, boys will be boys. Excuse them for not knowing how to behave in presence of a lady. I don’t have the authority of speaking on behalf of the male populace of the college. I merely presented my point of view.
"But it is a fact that every boy is in search of his dream girl and are ready to try their luck on every beautiful girl who passes by."
i just want to condemn this statement in d blog which is a huge misconception. not all but some boys only do the above mentioned...word "every" is a big blunder...u should know this...that not every boy tries to show off in front of beautiful girls(i can give examples :P)...we have other important works to do! however,some boys do but due to them all can't be blamed!
& the second point...passing dirty comments & obscene stuffs @ faces is really a big indecency & it must be avoided...u girls should nt remain quite but have to open ur mouths whenever u encounter the situation.REMEMBER ---> boys may keep on insulting or passing comments...that's a part of the routine but when a girl does the same thing with a guy in front of a crowd..it means something nasty really & it would be worthremembering...the guy will think twice before repeating the same thing again...
SO, next time whenever u face the situation...chup mat raho...aage aayo aur galiya do! that's it!
last but not the least...the blog was an impressive effort...carry on..thumbs up! :)
hi,
i don't belong to ISM and it seems to be a debate much concerned within ISM , but then also i would like to say ... blog is highly exaggerated.
1. boys talk about girls, okk but now who says that girls don't talk about boys.
2. not every boy is mad about girls ... u shud say most of them . but do girls not like to have a bf ? if u r honest , many of them do like to have a bf.
3. every boy don't pass comment ... u don't believe ?? okk
when u come out of ur room , how many boys do pass u ? u can't count ...ok . and do you get a comment every time u go out ( in market, in campus et cetera.) No ... ok, at worst case u can say oftenly.. now do simple calculations, among these uncountable boys(not saying theoreticaly uncountable but practicaly)who passed u since u got last comment,only 1 boy passed comment . So it means ... find urself the probability of a boy of that type.
4. about changing the mentality ... how the boy will react in presence of gals , or how will he behave much depends upon his family background... but it doesn't matter that he shows or not , he is a sort of aggresive nature in terms of sex related stuff. even if a girl loves someone passionately, don't she expect that other will propose her? will she propose herself ? okk leave boys ... tell me one species in nature in which male is not dominant related to sx stuffs ! why only males do the starting? i accept tht we are bad , we don't care abt other sex feelings, we do all this due to dirty friends , blaw, blaw.... but who make ox bad ? who make peacock bad ? who makes dog bad? and please don't reply tht they are animals !!! if we are talking abt natural innate feelings , we shud consider us as a natural species !!!
5. second last ...
* every boy is the worst example of God's creation , i concede.
*each & every boy see each & every gal with sexual mentality, i concede.
*each & every boy is uncivilised, highly raw , characterless , et cetera , i concede.
--- BUT before u start abhoring this gender , ur father , ur brother and ur husband( okk , u will have someday) also belongs to same gender.
6.lastly , its totally ur perception ... the world is not so good ... and the world is not so bad .
Shobhit Misra
final year
IITK
i really.....appreciate....ur voice...
good n keep it up!
but.....our main motto should b .....
"what can b done 2 change d social norms"
dat drives d behaviour of men n boys dat leaves girls...vulnerable..????
d vulnerabilities n diadvantages....d girls faces emerge...
directly out of social construction of gender....
actually....d reason behind....dere abnormal behaviour...is
dat dey don't feel comfort...with girls...(well i'm not sure abt dat)
or if dey....so dey never tried 2 do..and dere is one thing more......i want 2 say dat...Diversity is d key, All boys are not the same. Seeing boys as a single, homogenous group masks makes important differences among dem
dats it!!!
@ shobhit
either u hav misunderstood or u havn't read the blog at all.
1-it was not at all exaggerated.
2-we haven't ever claimed that girls don't like to hav a bf.we were talking abt those guys who pretend to be indifferent to this gf-bf buisness but are actually interested.
3-we agree that not all guys pass comments (although the majority does-atleast at ism) but what is wrong is wrong whether 1 person does it or 10 and shud be condemned.
4-@ animal stuff(he he he)
well we live in a civilized society(atleast we do).and about the sx stuff wrt animals refer the bio books.
6-as you said
* every boy is the worst example of God's creation , i concede.
*each & every boy see each & every gal with sexual mentality, i concede.
*each & every boy is uncivilised, highly raw , characterless , et cetera , i concede.
we never said that......these r ur views and u r exagerrating.we ain't anti boys but we r against what is wrong.
oops ....i guess i m not interfering !!![:D]...
but i completely agree wid abhinav and partially with puneet ...!!aur shobit bhaiyya ne as always PHODA hai ..lolz..par his frustation about the scene at IITK can be clearly made out frm his post (i kno i m dead ..for posting this ...:D..still I DARE ..:P)...he is right in his own place ,his views being moulded by his experience at IITK..!!! anyways ,a nice blog ...i ll surely come back sumtime to post my views about the things ...!! but as of now ..i jus wish to say that thr is indeed sum element of exaggeration in the article (owing to ..donno ..wat gals think abt themeslves ..!!) ..but still they r not entirely WRONG...they do have a point !!(and they have made it !!:D)....
aah ...i m writing it in a jiff ...shall write more clearly next time ...! asta le vesta adios ..!!njoy the debate ! [:)]
great.... u did a great job....if u don mind i will copy this into my blog...once again..i appreciate u....
sry girls i don't agree with u.....
u just cant make a general statemnt about all the boyz who dont have girl frndz....
it is not necessary that boyz who dont have a gf "roam about pretending that they don’t need them, as they waste time, money etc etc."
nor is it necessary that every boy is in search of his dream girl and are "ready to try their luck on every beautiful girl who passes by."
Never Never make any general statemnt abt a whole community by just observing a few in it...
This is the problem with many....if someone does somethng wrong its immediately linked 2 d communty 2 which he belongs n then the whole community is abused!!!!what the hell is this?????
by making such a statemnt u r waging a war btween boyz n galz....
now lemme end up by remindng u that evry1 is unique n not all "boyz with no gfs" r like what u have mentioned dear.
well.....ur problem won't solve by avoiding boys.....u need to teach them a lesson.if a guy/gal passes comments on u nd write weird stuff about u people on desks.u need to answer them in d same way they do with u.....u can also pass comments on them.now u'll think that "menaria has gone man nd $%$#@%$%....etc....etc.",but just try it once....even when my sister told me tht a guy passes comments on her....i told her tht" u r d problem nd u r d solution....i won't be always around 2 help u ....just go nd give a punch on his nose....i'll take care of d rest"....nd she did tht...tht guy never even dared 2 look at her.its ok if someone comes 2 u nd express his /her feelings;we hv got right of expression.but if someone teases u or passes comment....if AVOIDING cud b d solution....this problem wud hv been solved a long time ago....d solution is to reply nd act;not to complaint or avoid.....u all r intelligent gals.....i hope u'll take care of such incidents nxt time!!!!!!!!
remember"YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU."
@ Abhineet, gr8 yaar....this is what v expect frm u guys,nd its very nice to see that atleast some of u think this way...thanx...
i do agree that every boy is in search for his dream girl, tell me one thing if someone knows what kind a girl he likes or want to be with why the HELL will he roam around any other girl however beautiful she may be. boys don't think this way as u have presented we never try our luck on any passing beautiful girl...... i think we really try our luck on girls who really matches the one of his own dreams..........
ya i have seen people linking some boys with the girls when they talk with gals....or say make friends in gals ..... i am one of the victim of such things in my hostel for most of the occasions.....this things really sucks.....but this is unavoidable.....i would really like to ask if this is really serious topic to discuss do girls do not do this ...with there friends for some fun....but if someone really gets carried away by such comments by his or her friends is really dumb(bewakuff hoga woh).....i do agree people do this ...and this is wrong because this may make HIM or HER loss one of the good FRIEND<<< for avoiding excess of such comments<<
This is generalised for any gender if someone blindly says that a pair is gf-bf then really they are jerks.But sometimes by seeing how two of them are behaving we can try to figure out their relation....it is not here or some other place it is generally the mentality of different people to look towards this .....
this is wrong we really respect the relation of brother and sister
some people think the way u have described it ,this does't mean everyone is wrong.......
....who told u that we only dis cuss about girls.....we have much more interesting things to discuss...upon ...i would like to know why u feel that we talk only about u all...
i use to feel there is no difference between girls and boys ...and r human beings ..and talk normally but ...with some of my close experiences in the past i have really started feeling that boys r boys and girls r girls........i have examples to give but i limit my self with these over topics.....
there has never been 2 groups as such but ur repeated ? for such kind a things is really turning this concept to be it just stop this thing...there has never been such things when it really comes to working together for cause for our nation or college.......
i would really like to suggest u to get a bit aware for the iss body in ismu ...u can be there ....and try to work for the betterment of the college where ur thoughts would get true support<<<
i really feel this writing on desks
is something wrong which is going on ....but some people are just like a dog's tail...they can't be tought............some of us have tried to......but can't help<<<
....i really feel that some the points r really good and r needed to be brought in front of everyone this blog should be send to the ism community where u will really be able to take this message to everyone ...........i don't think that any of the people who write on desks must have read this blog...
...lastly i would like to say that i really feel that girls make better FRIENDS than boys<<<<<
ok, here comes the culprit. wait, spare your stones now, u'll need them later!
the blog is written beautifully, english-wise; made an excellent reading. dont stop here, keep writing, young ladies!
i agree with some points, agree very much with some, and disagree with others.
yes, boys are interested in every BEAUTIFUL girl passing by, if not trying their luck every time. I dont know if you donot want to try your luck on hunks passing by.
...most of our conversations revolving around girls..
agree. girls are very important topics of our discussions. again, i suppose, you must not be talking about guys.
girl even talks properly with a guy...
i DISAGREE. it questions the friendship between guys and girls. i have friends who are female and beautiful and single, but i do not have carnal interest in them. Same must be the case with other guys.
humour always involves girls...
you have not met guys whocan make you laugh your guts out without sex and girls. look out for them, your perception will change.
about the gender to which the person belongs...
that you can never change, but i dont think there's any problem with that.
they pass dirty comments or scribble obscene stuff on the desks or something similar...
agree!!! what you did about scribbling obscene stuffs is commendable... do not give in here.
Imagine how it feels when a person whom u considered a friend is also one of the lot...
it hurts, i know... i couldn't have been more sorry. that was in bad taste.
First of all, thanks for the compliment. obviously we are not going to stop here.
i want to tell u that we never try our luck on the hunks passing by(didn’t say, we r not interested in them).
I agree, even we talk about boys….but im sure, our way is different.
girl even talks properly with a guy...
yes it does question the friendship between guys nd girls. it may be the case with u (nd others also) that u hav friends who are female and beautiful and single, but u do not have carnal interest in them. But what when it comes to ur friends? (hope u got my point).
I agree that boys are different physically and biologically but here I think u misunderstood my point.
I think before being a boy or a girl we all are human beings.and there shud be a bond of humanity between each n every person. no one on the earth has got the right to hurt nyone.(I knw u people don’t think so, but had to clr my point).
Thanks for ur support(for our step against those obscene comments on desk).ob we r not going to stop here.we hav to go a long way.
Frankly speaking, it was really unexpected of you ,but it felt really good that u realized your mistake and had the guts to accept it.
Every person commits mistakes but the greater virtue is in accepting it.
Nice blog ladies.. Coincidently I share my blog title with you (I hope none of us has copied from another :P )...
Kudos to you people.. U really write well.. Had I been at your position at ISM(I know the details from a common friend :) ), I would have also come up with some similar stuff...
http://weirdo-me.blogspot.com/
See,what would it have happened one day,as it is very much clear from the comments ,written by many boys.See,if there is no crossing of lines,then there wud not be felt a sort of wit being done,whatever be the sex either it come frm males or females.So it is not so like that as written by u,as we have some egos abt not being bowed down before u,nor u don't have respect to bow before us,so there seems no such talking being done intentionally,and whatever we put before u,they are done only for some fun and nothing like that
this is the 3rd time when i m writing for a blog..because actually this blog has just pulled me to make a comment.i think the name of the writer of this blog is swati.anywway whtever ur name is..i would like to say that u cant generalize a case on every boys..and if u like to generalize then one thing more i would like to add in that only boys r not the evils..if a gf or bf relationship stand then there is certainly equal participation of girls too.they encourage the boys and in fact they like to induce the boys towards them..thats why such type of situation is arising.so u cant blame the whole boys fraternity..yaa if u r really a reformer then u can try to change the world .u can not be a part of this and i ll certainly appreciate it..and one thing more that this is the 1st blog i have ever seen in which the comments are as big as a blog and i m also the part of this from now
nice one frns... keep goin.. :-)
nd now that a few of u have spent some time at IITd.. .do tell us.. if therez some difference in the 'chauvinistic attitude' there.. or its all same.. ??
@Shobhit...
yaar IITk speaks frm ur keyboard.. :P ... stop being judgmental n try to see the feelings behind the words..!!!!
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